What would it be like to appreciate the little things in life more?
I was working with a thoughtful and inspiring coaching
client today, who has recently had a big birthday. She's started writing a
journal to help her keep in touch with what is important to her right now. She reflected that what’s important to her
currently is different to what it was when she set out on her career, and that
this new phase is about enjoying the small things, the experiences and being
present for them. And it got me thinking about my own journey.
If I think about
my 20s, they were about achievement, striving to be good at something,
progressing my career, being a manager, running high profile events. And if I
could sum this up, really it was about excitement. My 30s were about
self-discovery in all areas of my life, my work and my relationships – a
redundancy led me to re-evaluate and I moved away from fundraising events into
Learning & Development and I trained as a coach. This forced me to slow
down, be at ease with contemplation so I could better understand myself and
others. Then I became a parent, which is a big one for changing all the relationships
you have in your life, including the one you have with yourself!
Now I’m 40, I find I’m naturally taking a leaf out of my
wise coaching client’s book: what is important to me now more than ever is the day to day little
things. I’ve learnt that the bits you remember aren’t necessarily the big
achievements, or even the big nights out (though some do stick in the mind, if
a little blurrily) it’s the small moments, the moments where you stopped to smell the
roses, and really appreciated people; snapshots in time with your friends
around you and the sun on your face; your child feeding the ducks or indeed the
ridiculousness of your 11 month old choosing the moment the health visitor arrived to go to the toilet in a spectacular fashion, on the kitchen floor.
(Yes - this happened, just yesterday.)
Whilst as a coach I advocate working on one’s purpose and
goals, what’s often missed if we're focusing on a long term reflection and planning piece is appreciation
of the small day to day joys.
Understanding your values can help to raise your
awareness of what brings you joy.
Here's an exercise you can do to ground you in today, and
what is important to you right now. Take a blank piece of paper, and a pen. Now
think of someone you really admire, a friend, colleague or family member. Write
down all the things about this person that you really appreciate. When you’ve
finished think some more and write down some more. Then put your pen down and
think about someone else and repeat the exercise. Now you have a piece of paper
with a long list of qualities and skills which you really rate. You could call
them values. Ring three of them – the three that really spring out at you
today. Then narrow this down to one. Ask yourself the question ‘what would it
look like if today I was really living this value?’
Let me know how you get on!
With love
Jen
P.S The pic is taken in the woods with my family this weekend, 2 year olds are brilliant at appreciating the little things, so uncluttered are their minds!
I'm a leadership and team coach who helps people, teams and organisations with Big Change (like redundancy, a new team or return to work after mat leave). Change can be terrifying, but it needn't be. It can truly be the catalyst for better, even more brilliant things! Do get in touch to discuss how we can work together.
Check out my website www.mccannacoaching.co.uk and follow me www.facebook.com/mccannacoaching and @jenthecoach on Twitter for useful articles and exercises you can do at home, plus news of workshops I'm running.
