Because you're worth it!

 

What happens when we really pay attention to ourselves, and stop expecting others to pay attention for us?

 

I recently attended a truly inspirational three-day workshop led by Dr Robert Holden entitled Loveability. Loveability is "about letting the love that is your true nature teach you how to love and be loved"*

It was a practical and inspiring three days and, as well as meeting many interesting people, and lying in Hyde park having a picnic lunch every day, we explored some practical tools, and interesting concepts, through the universal theme of love.

One of my favourite insights was around what happens when we feel wanting in some way. If, for example, we feel out of sorts, we may decide it's because we haven't had enough attention from our partner, our friends or our family. However, it could instead be a sign that we haven't paid enough attention to ourselves recently.

Here's an example from my life: My partner is always saying to me "do less, chill out more" and  I tend to stop momentarily, nod sagely and say " yes, darling, you're completely right" then proceed to rush around attending every social occasion, organising everything and everyone in sight. I've then been known to collapse on the sofa at the end of the week and say "you don't pay me enough attention". He sighs and turns off the episode of "Pointless" he's been watching and asks me how my week was.

If, however, I catch myself in time, and am in a self- aware frame of mind, I can ask myself "do I need attention from someone else or do I need it from me?"

"Do I need to see evidence of love and regard externally or can I seek it from myself?"

And if I make that choice to pay myself some attention, what does that look like? For me, part of loving myself is noticing those self- critical thoughts. Not necessarily doing anything with them, just noticing that they are there and seeing them for what they are, and loving myself anyway.

For you, paying attention and loving yourself might be mean something completely different.

Noticing what is going on in our heads helps us change how we experience the world and how we show up to others.

If you're tempted, you could practice noticing when you'd like some love and attention.

Ask yourself "do I want to seek love and attention from someone else today, or do I want it from myself"

And what does giving yourself love and attention even look like?

To borrow a question or two from Lizzie Prior, a wonderful friend and gifted coach: if you knew that you were 100% loved and supported, what would be different?
 What action could you take in the next three days to bring about more of this?

(Try and make this a practical action, that something that someone else will be able to see evidence of when you've done it.)

Receiving love from others feels good, but loving ourselves feels even better.

Do let me know how you get on.
 
Wishing you lots of love,

Jen

Taking in a nice view, or finding a peaceful spot helps give us space to notice what's going on in our heads, which is why I thought you'd like this photo of the beach at Criccieth in North Wales.

 *quote taken from Loveability by Robert Holden, published by Hay House UK Ltd, 2013.
Read more from Robert at www.robertholden.org
Follow Lizzie on Facebook at Lizzie Prior - sacred rebellion

If you liked this blog, please feel free to share it with your friends. If you'd like to talk about how coaching can help you get what you want, please email me at jennifermccanna@gmail.com 
and if I'm not the right coach for you, I have several talented coaching associates I can put you touch with.

Jennifer McCanna
Professional Leadership Coach
Follow me on twitter @jenthecoach